Picture this:
It was a cold, stormy day, and John was strolling down the banks of the River Liffey. Suddenly, a gust of wind swept him off his feet and threw him into the river.
Instant shock.
Panic.
His instinct was to swim against the current to prevent himself from being swept out to sea.
So he did.
But after a minute, which felt like an eternity, his arms began to tire.
The current was winning.
So he gave in.. and went with it rather than against it.
As it pulled him downstream, he began to steer himself over to the side.
And it dawned on him:
‘Why didn’t I just go with the current when I first fell in?’
As he got closer to the river wall, he noticed a ladder, grabbed hold of it and climbed out.
A scary experience, but one that taught him a valuable life lesson. And one that might help you if you've been regularly asking yourself:
'how do I stop myself from feeling anxious?'
You see, for most of his life, John struggled with anxiety. And the same question:
'how do I stop myself from feeling anxious?'
.. was one that routinely crossed his mind.
Similar to fighting against the current when he fell into the Liffey,..
… any time his turbulent anxiety began to rise, he would fight back against it, trying to stop and suppress it.
But all that did was leave him drained and getting swept away by his anxiety.
He mentioned this experience to his therapist, and she told him that anxiety is fuelled when we try to stop it.
And to manage and settle it, we must learn to go with instead of against it, and gradually, skilfully, ease our way out of it.
So she helped him begin to change his relationship to his anxiety, by first educating him on the actual purpose of it, why we need healthy levels of it, along with why, if if were possible, stopping anxiety for good could cause negative consequences.
She also provided him with a number of mindfulness-based exercises to help him go with his anxiety, instead of going against and trying to stop it.
And as John practised them over the following months, he began to relate to and manage his anxiety a lot better as a result.
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Now, the above story is fictional.
Initially, I had planned on sharing a boring and 'to-the-point tip' on managing anxiety, and why you should try to stop yourself from feeling anxious, but I feel you’ll remember the tip a lot better as a result of it being woven into a fictional story.
Remember:
If ‘swimming’ against the flow of your anxiety/trying to stop yourself from feeling anxious hasn’t been working for you, why not learn how to skilfully go with it instead, and see how that helps?
If you’d like my help with that, simply click on this highlighted link to send me an email with the words ‘Mind Management’ and I’ll see what I can do to help.
Chat soon,
Coach Alan
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